Mind Your Own Business

Make your way, if you would please, in your Bible to the book of Proverbs. And we're actually only going to look at one verse tonight. I'm going to go a little Spurgeon style. But what do you call— maybe you would know the name of this. I think of them as room mothers in college. What's the male version of that? You know, where you have a dorm and there's a person that's in charge of the dorm. Resident assistants? Maybe? I just don't know if there's a single word name for what a room mother is. But I bring that up because whatever that is on the male side, I have a story related to that. Resident assistant? Yeah, it sounds good. We'll call it that. If not, we'll just make that the new title. We can make up any words we want, right? Room father? Years ago, I was talking to somebody who went to college and they had whatever that person's title is in charge of their dorm. And it was a Christian college. And this person had a habit, that room father or whatever he is, the resident assistant, of curbing gossip. And the way I understood it that he did it was if any gossip was happening, if somebody was gossiping, he would either inject himself into the conversation, rightly or unrightly, or if it was him and people were trying to gossip to him about somebody behind their back, he would say, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Don't talk about them. Let's go get them first and then we'll talk about them." So before there was a chance to talk about that person behind their back, he would say, "No, no, no, I really think they would like to be in on this conversation." So that person never had to hear gossip because he had a habit of stopping it before it started. And I always appreciated that story. I would like to think that I would do that too, and the truth is I'm like most people that need this sermon before us. And I can probably confess to you that people in church leadership need it more than anyone because they're doing things in the name of ministry sometimes that might actually qualify as gossip.

Why is gossip appealing? Have you ever asked that question? Why do we care? Why is, like, what happens with celebrities and things in the news and tabloids— I know there's no such thing as a tabloid anymore, but you know what I mean, that kind of thing. Why do people care what's happening and who's marrying who and what's going on with famous people and what's going on in other people's business? Have you ever wondered that? Have you ever wondered why the attraction? I think we all see that there is an attraction. I think everybody sees that it's big business. TMZ is a billion-dollar company. That's all it is, is celebrity gossip. The question is why? What is it in humans and maybe even in us that those things appeal to us? Why do we like putting our noses in other people's business? So, that is not your problem. Maybe, maybe. She says maybe it makes us feel better about our own problems if we can look at the problems of other people. Is it always wrong to put your nose in other people's business? Well, first I'll tell you it's not always wrong. For example, I don't know, Alexander's probably counting things or doing things, but when you're in pro-life ministry, for example, you're kind of trying to put yourself in someone's business to save an innocent life, right? To keep somebody from going through with an abortion. Or when you vote, you're essentially trying to have input over other people's business. But I think we know when we get to this verse here in Proverbs 26 that we're not talking about that. We're not talking about in a helpful way and in a productive way contributing to other people. We're gonna see very clearly what's going on here is meddling and gossip.

Now here's something that is funny to you. You can take this with you. Be careful, I wouldn't recommend you do this. It's not for the uninitiated. I have been raised, I've mentioned this a lot, although we're a little light on the Latino community tonight, in our church. I was raised in a neighborhood where almost all of my friends were Mexican growing up. So I always say, "En el interior yo soy mexicano," which means, "On my inside, I'm Mexican," because all my friends are Mexican. My neighbors are Mexican. And I very much have a heart for the Mexican people. And so there's a saying, and there's a few of them that are like sayings that we might have or your culture might have wherever you're from, that I I would tell you to say it, but I would say know what you're doing before you say it. Be careful. I'm going to give you something that could be a useful tool for communicating with people in the Mexican community, but it could also come off wrong and maybe you could look racist. So be careful. There's one word I've given you before, the word codo, which is the Spanish word for elbow. And that means you're tight. That means you don't like to spend money. The idea is that if you have money in your hand, your elbow won't open. And let the money go. So you're codo, you don't let that money go. Well, here's one that my neighbor and I always say with each other, and the reason you want to be careful is because it could be taken as an insult if you do it wrong. And it's just the word for nose, and it's the Spanish word metiche. Metiche. This sermon could be called No Seas Metiche. And the way— what that phrase means is like, don't use your nose, but what it means in the Mexican vernacular is butt out. Mind your own business. Because we have it in our language too. What does it mean to be nosy? Have you ever thought about that crazy idiom that we use? Nosy. Does that mean I have a really big nose? No, it means you're putting your nose in places where it doesn't belong. That's an English idiom we all get. And the word "metiche," if you just call somebody "metiche," "Hey, metiche," you're saying you're being nosy. You're putting your nose in other people's business.

The reason we say this primarily is my friend next door, Solomon, and his family, they had this little dog, and the dog's name is Franco. Franco. And he only speaks Spanish, by the way. The dog only knows Spanish. I try to speak English to him and he doesn't understand it. But Franco barks at everything. But I love it because he's a good little watchdog. And when they let the dog out, the dog goes out and sits on the sidewalk and just sort of surveys the neighborhood, right? So we call Franco first, "Metiche," because his nose is in everybody's business. He's our little police dog in the neighborhood, right? He's keeping everybody safe. If somebody's on the street that doesn't belong on the street, Franco lets him know, right? So I love Franco. I didn't used to love those little dogs. He's like a little carry-around kind of dog. I always think that those dogs are only good for ankle biting, you know what I mean? But not Franco. Franco's my buddy. But I say all that to you because Franco is metiche, and metiche is somebody that puts their nose in someone else's business. And this sermon is don't do that. This sermon is butt out. Don't put your nose in somebody else's business. That's what the main point of the sermon is. So in honor of Franco and my neighbors and mi gente, la raza, I say, "Don't be metiche. No seas metiche."

So let's look at this one verse together that has so much in it. I'm always amazed by verses like this where one verse of Scripture has so much value. A single verse of the Bible properly understood has so much value, so much food in it. So let's pray and then we'll dig in. Father, thank you for not only this verse, but all the verses like it. These verses, especially in Proverbs, are just rich with wisdom. They're valuable. They have nuggets in them that are nourishing and helpful if we will take the lessons. And it reminds me, Father, that we probably all could be studying your Word more. If one verse has this much in it, we need to be spending plenty of time in your Word and getting all the good nourishing food so that we can live for you. Now help us do that, please, in Jesus' name. Amen.

So Proverbs, as I had mentioned to you as going through 1 John, that there isn't the same kind of linear structure in 1 John where it's one thing after the— it's not sequential. It's not in a logical order. It's more proverbial. And this is why, because Proverbs is built sort of by independent thoughts sometimes. There's a cohesive overarching thought or theme, but not always. Sometimes it seems like the Proverbs as wisdom literature would be something that like you would do if you were taking a walk with your son or grandson or daughter, right? Or you take a walk and say, "Let's talk. I'm going to just give you some statements and some thoughts that you want to take with you." And that's what we find here in this single verse in Proverbs 26:17. I'll just read the verse and then we'll break it apart piece by piece here. "He who passes by...'" And meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears." This is a great phrase by itself. "Is like one who takes a dog by his ears." So let's look at each phrase independently and see if we can glean some important information.

The first thing I got to tell you is technical. Even though the phrase is proverbial and it's idiomatic, there's a technical side of it that you could interpret in one of two ways. It actually doesn't matter because the meaning will still be the same. But I do want you to know that you could actually interpret this as the dog passing by, not the person, not the subject of the verse passing by. So it could either be he who passes by and meddles in someone else's quarrel, or it could be he who meddles in someone else's quarrel is like grabbing a dog that's passing by. So the grammar is a little tough in the original language. In either case, it's not your dog, okay? It's not, it's not something you should have your your nose in, so to speak. So the idea here is he who passes by, or whether the dog in the story is passing by depending on how it's translated. The idea I want you to see first as we start unpacking here is when you hear this language, passing by, that's language that means something like as you're going through life, in the normal course of life, as you move through your life and actions and business and the things you have going on in your life. So you'll notice it isn't somebody seeking out something. This isn't something like he who pursues something. No, this is he who finds himself in the situation through what we might call chance, even though we know there's no such thing as chance, right? Through happenstance, whatever those things are.

I don't like that language because we know that God is sovereign and He ordains all things. So I don't really normally use that language of chance. But just so you know, I don't judge people who do because if I did, I would have to judge Jesus. Did you know Jesus uses that kind of language? In the story of the Good Samaritan, when he talks about the person who passed by, it says, "And by chance the Samaritan passed by." So be careful to judge people who use that kind of language. But at the same time, be careful not to believe in chance, right? But I do want to say it here that this language of "he who passes by," that has the idea that it's things that are just happening. It's things that are happening under the normal course of life. I also want to infer from that that if somebody is just passing by and it's the normal course of life and nobody is pursuing, that it is probably optional not to take part. Now, I think we know we can choose not to take part because the text is telling us don't do it. But I also want you to know that there's lots of going— lots of things going on in life that you see, that you're a part of, that are close to you in your sphere of influence something that you could be a part of that maybe you shouldn't be.

So are you the kind of person that thinks there is a U-shaped hole in everybody's life? That you're always trying to jump in everybody's thing and be the answer to everybody's problem? Well, this might not be speaking directly to that where you want to be helpful, but it is speaking to the idea that in this story we hear where the proverb writer Solomon is going to tell us not to do it. Normal course of life, as somebody is passing by, you or the dog, you could choose not to take part. So maybe there's some, I don't know, news headlines you don't need to comment on. Maybe there's some neighborhood business you don't have to comment on. Maybe there's something, I don't know, your pastor didn't say just right that you don't have to comment on, right? In other words, it's a choice. To get involved in things. Now, we haven't talked about the thing to get involved with here yet. I just want you to see, normal course of life, those things are happening.

Now it says, "He who passes by and mettles." That's a good translation, "mettles." You all know what that means. It's not M-E-T-A-L, right? Incidentally, that's a crazy word, by the way, if you want to go study this on your own. When you say that somebody's mettle is tested, have you ever heard that before? He had his mettle tested. That's a different word altogether, but it actually comes from M-E-T-A-L, which is weird. I don't know. Things. I'm a— I like language and etymology, and I love those things. So I find that weird. There's all kinds of metals. But in this case, you know what it means. It means somebody that's getting involved in somebody else's affairs. It means somebody gets involved in what other people are going through. So in other words, we'll see in a minute, it's a quarrel that's happening. But for now, the language here is somebody that— there's one sense, I saw it in one commentary. I don't read a ton of commentaries, but on this one, there's one sense I read somewhere where the language would be something like, "is excited about the quarrel that somebody else is going through." So the idea is he who passes by and sees a thing that kind of excites them and they want to get involved in it, they're interested in it.

And by the way, watch out for that word "interested" because meddling almost always has that word in it. "Oh, I just find it interesting how he talks to his wife." "Oh, I just find it interesting that the pastor thinks such and such." "I just find it interesting that my neighbor is doing this thing with his family." They hide, they mask meddling and gossip with the word "interesting" or "venting." "I just want to give him a chance to air out and vent and so that he can be heard." Yeah, you might be just a gossip. That might be what's happening. So watch out for such things. But the idea here to use the language is there is both the idea of passing by and injecting yourself, inserting yourself into the business of somebody else, but there's also the idea that we are tantalized By the business of something else. The idea is you were passing by and could have chose not to look at it, could have not been involved, could have chosen to keep moving instead of stopping and getting involved in the affairs of other people and the business of other people. And so there's an idea here both of meddling, but there's also the idea of our character that wants to meddle, that wants to have our opinions heard, that wants to be a part of things, maybe that's tantalized. By what's going on. It's, hmm, there's something in there I want to be involved in. Maybe, like what you said earlier, the idea is maybe I'll find out that their lives are more messed up than mine. Or maybe, just maybe, the meddler, the person who puts their nose in everybody else's business, metiche, maybe metiche thinks that they're the smartest person and it would be smart for everybody to get me involved in their business. Because clearly my opinion is super valuable and it would be smart of them to hear from me. Oh, I've got this. And there are these people that if you gathered together all the two cents they ever gave anybody, you would be a millionaire. They just feel strongly about their opinion so much that everybody needs their opinion. They feel like they need to voice their opinion.

So watch out for things where people think they need to be heard They need to have their two cents. They need to influence. And think of those people out there in the world. You should actually be concerned about people who want to be in politics for— as a matter of consideration. People who want to be in politics. In other words, maybe they want to be in everybody's business. Maybe they want to put their nose in. Now, by the way, there are good politicians. I know they're rare. There's also good lawyers. And there's also good insurance agents, right? There are good salesmen, okay? There are good people in all of those. Fields. But I do want you to just ask, is the person, or am I the person in the story that— am I a person that just needs to have my opinion heard, that feels so valuable that the world needs me? So I see somebody's got business going on and I want to jump in and I'm going to be the answer, or I'm going to be a part of it and they're going to be better for me being a part of it. I mean, how can they live without my opinion after all? How can they function if I don't get input? I think these folks that are considered meddlers and get involved in other things outside of themselves where they maybe don't have authority, but they want authority are the kind of people that are given to conspiracy theories. They're the kind of people that say, I think this is what's going on behind the scenes. And no matter how much you prove it, even if you prove it wrong, they shift that. OK, well, if it's not this, then it's got to be this. And underneath all of that is the idea that I'm probably the only one that can figure it out.

I don't know if you know this, but it is literally a diagnosis-related thing to schizophrenia for people to have delusions of grandeur? Do you ever wonder why people who are in that mindset and they're struggling with such things think that the world is out to get them? They think the government's trying to get them. They think the conspiracy, the Illuminati and everything else is out trying to get them. Would you ever notice that nobody who is talking like that says, I'm not important enough for them to worry about? The human ego is something else. And I would suggest to you that we need to watch out. It's not only telling us to avoid the meddling and getting involved in other people's affairs. I'm suggesting to you there's inference here. Don't think too highly of yourself to think you should have a say-so in everybody else's business. I'll talk more to that later, but I just want to put that here. I don't think the Lord is just saying, "Bite your tongue. I know you're most valuable. I know your opinion is the best. I know you have it all figured out. I know you're perfect, your family's perfect, and everybody around you is perfect." 'But right now I'm asking you to just temper that and keep that away from other people.' I know, I think the Lord is telling us, 'Hey, nobody's opinion is that important.' Now, it is one thing if you're going to share the Word of God, that's different. I'll talk about that too in a minute. Here we're not talking about that. The word is meddle on purpose. The word is the wrong negative connotation.

Now, what is it that they're meddling in? It's not just business. I want you to see that the tone here is meddling in a quarrel, not his own. A quarrel, a fight, strife, something where the parties involved, the meddler themself, see two other parties fighting or two other people against themselves. Now, I'm applying this all the way up the ladder. I'm applying this to standing back and watching, I don't know, conservatives and liberals fight out there. I'm going all the way up the ladder talking about Christians and atheists. I'm going all the way up there and saying, all the people that we see out in the world fighting and what they're fighting over and thinking, "Maybe I need to get involved in that. Maybe I need to get out there and get my hands dirty and get in that." That might be true. And maybe it might be true that you just need to talk to your next-door neighbor about the gospel. That might be true too. Maybe that is the best use of your time, or sharing the gospel with your coworkers or the people in your community. That might be a good use of your time too. The idea here though is there's something going on out there. I always tell this story because it cracks me up. I've told you before, but I love it. It's the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw a quarrel not his own.

Sergio and I, one night, we were at Save Mart when they first opened and stayed open 24/7 over on Oakdale. And we were there at like— this was like 1:30 in the morning. We used to do that all the time back when we were in business together. And there we were, literally in the middle of the night, right? Early morning hours and sitting in their little cafe thing. But it was closed, but the tables were there so we could sit in there. And we saw a little commotion, a little ruckus going on in the store. And sure enough, see a couple of guys running out the store and they got big 12-packs of beer. So it was a beer run, right? These young guys that were clearly not going to buy it, they're stealing it and they're running out the door and we saw all the commotion. And then we see their, what do you call them, the theft prevention guys in the store, security, they run out after them, right? And so we're intrigued. So like everybody else, the weak-minded of us all, I wanted to see what was going on. And so we follow them outside and we see this car right at the door. They had it all planned out pretty well. And the car was there and the guy in the car did not wait for his buddies long enough. He saw the— the heat coming, so he decided to take off before the guys were all fully in the car. So they were trying to dive into the car, and then there was this other guy that I thought was one of the theft prevention guys, and he dives in after them. So he's not with them, and I see him swinging. Like, we're seeing him from the car just like wailing on the guy in the back seat, right? And then he falls out. That guy falls out like in a movie, falls out of the car and rolls, you know, like, oh no, is he okay? They get away. There's cans of beer all over the parking lot. I don't even think they got any. I think the thing exploded and they took off. And so we were like, is everybody okay? Is everybody all right? And this guy that was in the backseat of that car wailing on everybody, we help him get up and are you all right, man? Are you okay? And he says, yeah, that was crazy. And I go, were you guys casing them? Were you watching them in the store? Could you tell that they were going to steal? He goes, what are you talking about? And I said, well, I saw all you guys coming running out after them. Did you catch them? Did you know they were doing it before they got outside? He goes, I don't work here. I just want to hit somebody. So that guy was meddling in affairs not his own. He wanted to be a part of it. Now, I have to tell you, I admired it. OK, so I don't know if I should have. He could have hurt himself really bad. Those guys could have been armed. Maybe it was one of the dumbest things that guy could have done. Maybe you should never do that. Maybe this verse tells you don't be the guy trying to jump in the backseat of a car for beer, you know, to save it. But that was the first thing I thought of is that guy just wanted to be in the mix, right? He just wanted to be there. Now, let's get spiritual. Maybe you're that person with people's business and difficulties. Maybe you're that person when you see people in trouble, it's, uh, there's something attractive to it.

When you see people fighting, like, "Oh, maybe I know what to say here." Maybe we might be, whether we like to admit it or not, attracted to strife. Maybe if we found strife and quarrel distasteful, we would avoid it. Do you notice how there are things that we know that are good for us that we avoid, like, I don't know, eating healthy and working out? Maybe biting our tongue a little bit? Things that we, when we find it distasteful, going to the doctor. Right? All those things that we find distasteful, we find it really easy to stay out of, don't we? I don't want any part of that.

But why is it when there's something going on, did you hear what happened to so-and-so? Hey, you know what so-and-so said to the other so-and-so? Did you— hey, what do you think about this? I just find it interesting. And then all of a sudden, we are in with both feet. What does wanting to be in someone else's strife say about us, is the question. Why does the proverb have to tell us to do it? The proverb never— like, there's never a proverb that says, "Be careful not to eat too healthy." "Be careful not to pray too much, because some people can get really carried away with praying too much." "Be careful not to read your Bible all the time." There's no warnings like that in the Scripture. Why is that? Why are there no warnings about good things? Is it possible that we are attracted to the thing that is being warned against here? Is it possible that it scratches some itch in us that we shouldn't have? And then we can mask it by saying, "Oh, well, I'm not gossiping about them. I'm just saying all the bad things behind their back so I know how to pray for them." You ever hear the prayer requests that are essentially just covered-up gossip? "Could we just pray for my wife? She's really not being very submissive and hasn't done the things she said she's supposed to do." "Can we really, really pray for my boss? I mean, he's terrible. He's a really bad guy, and I'd like to pray that he gets saved so my time at work can be better." Where we mask gossip in some sort of spiritual language.

Well, this text is saying the thing is going by you. It's a fight. It's a quarrel. It's strife. It's somebody else's business that they're going through that's not good. Is going by, passing by, or you're passing by it, and it's avoidable, and you could move and go the other direction, and instead you jump into it, you meddle in it. And your goal is probably not peacemaking. It's probably not unity and helping. Back to the room mother idea, or the guy version of that. That person would not want to gossip behind someone's back. Because he was not only preventing gossip, he also knew that it's possible if I get involved in this conversation right now, that person who's absent could be hurt, and I don't want to hurt them behind their back. So he didn't just care that there wasn't gossip, he cared about that person. There's a lot of talking about people in their absence that I think we might be justifying as healthy because I care, that maybe we're just doing what we're being told here not to do— meddling in someone else's difficulty or strife.

Well, what is it like to do that? This is an analogy here. Somebody who passes by, "He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own," look at the last part of verse 17, "is like one who takes a dog by the ears." Now, what would that mean? There's a thing that happens, if you didn't know, it always happens. Just so you know, don't be mad at yourself that it happens and don't think I'm picking on you for it happening. But it's almost impossible for our brain to do all of the work necessary to understand a 2,000-year-old, in this case, a 2,800-year-old passage. When was Solomon? Kingdom was divided in what, 931? So almost 3,000-year-old passage, right? So this passage is 3,000 years old. It's hard for our brain to put the brakes on and stop and interpret. And consult our understanding of that 3,000-year period so that you would go back in time to when Solomon is talking about dogs to say the dogs he is talking about is not my next-door neighbor's dog, Franco. It's not a poodle. It's not your little baby. It's not your favorite German Shepherd. It's not a black lab or a golden retriever. Dogs in Israel have a very different nature and role than the dogs you and I understand as domesticated animals. So to do hermeneutics right, to understand what this means, he's talking about probably rabid, feral dogs, wild dogs. Okay? Those dogs are dangerous.

And it might be that you walk by, and if it's a quarrel, we can go all the way with the quarrel when he's talking about dogs and say you have walked by and you see two dogs fighting. Got it? There's two dogs going, "Grrr," and they're at each other's throats. And you might think, "Well, I'll help out and I'll get involved." And the idea is trying to grab one of the dogs by the ears to stop it from fighting the other dog, if that's what you're trying to do. That almost sounds noble. This doesn't sound noble. But if even at the very best is the idea, is the analogy, is you're grabbing that kind of dog by its ears. Let me tell you what it doesn't say. If you look at it again, "He who meddles," or "He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is a really good friend." Do you notice it doesn't say that? It doesn't say that at all, does it? It doesn't say he's being a good Christian caring friend and trying to help. No, it says you're doing something bad, grabbing a dog by the ears. That's definitely not a positive, to grab a dog by the ears. So think of a stray dog— and again, back to the first thing I said, which is translation issue— either a stray dog is passing your path and you could avoid it and not get involved with what's going on, but you grab it by the ears instead, or it's a dog that you're passing by. You walk by and see a dog, for whatever reason, in trouble, digging something, doing something wrong. Fighting its owner, whatever, and you jump to that dog, think of like a kind of an old mangy dog, maybe a dog that's been in the dump, a dog that's been, you know, not clean, and you jump and decide to grab that dog by the ears.

And the point of that text here is you have essentially gotten yourself in trouble here by grabbing it. At the least, at the least, nothing good will happen. Okay? At the least, the point of the story is nothing good will happen. But it's probably not the least that the proverb is warning us about. It's dangerous. Let's say you grab the dog by the ears and now you're holding it to keep yourself from being— getting bitten. So now you're stuck. You've got a wild dog by the ears. Letting it go is dangerous. Holding onto it is dangerous. What do you do? You've essentially gotten yourself in a pickle, in a jam, and you can't do anything about it. You're stuck. But at the worst, grabbing that dog by the ear gets you bitten. It puts you in danger. There's a threat to you. And maybe that's not even the worst. Maybe the worst is that there's no commandments to grab dogs by the ears. There isn't a positive commandment that says, "Get involved in other people's business." So yes, you might have made a split-second decision without a lot of thought, without a lot of consideration of the implications, without the consideration of what might happen. Of the future potential realities that might come from my choice to get involved in someone else's affair, grabbing the dog by the ears. But one thing's for sure is that God is telling us not to do it. You're not going to have another verse in the Bible that says, "As much as you can, get involved in other people's fights. Grab a dog by the ears. Something good might happen. Maybe you might get a pet dog out of the deal." But no, it's telling us without any question, this is bad to do.

That if somebody has strife— just think of two people in your life that aren't you, you looking at two other people, and those two other people have strife, have quarrels, have divisions, have problems with them. And then ask how this text applies to you in that situation. Are you the person that says, "I've got two cents, I'm ready to spend it. My two cents is burning a hole in my pocket. I'm gonna jump right in the middle of that fight and I'm gonna fix it." Well, there's a lot to be said. Even though we've handled the verse, I'm not done applying it yet. So now I want to spend most of our time remaining here applying the text.

The one thing the text is not saying, I already said, is that the meddling is actually helpful and good and you're really helping your friends. It does not say that. But I do want to flip that coin and look on the other side of it and make sure we're clear that what this text is not saying is don't get involved in the lives of other people. This text is not a license for you to avoid rightly being involved in Christian people's lives. Here's what's interesting. There could be gossip going on and discussions going on and murmuring going on, and man, like a magnet, like a moth to a flame, people gravitate. "What are we talking about?" "Oh, yeah, yeah, you don't like what they're doing there?" "You don't like that, what the kitchen looking like?" "Oh, really? You don't like that?" Do you notice how long you went in the preaching? Oh, how come the Sunday school class? What about that? Did you hear what the president said? And so that just like, people just get like magnetized, like tractor beam style gravity. It like pulls them in. You want to keep people out of your life? Tell them, hey, I'm struggling with sin. That's none of my business, man. I'll pray for you. Man, I feel bad for you. Hey, I'm having some real struggles with my family right now. I'm not even sure what to do. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be— you know, maybe I'll do the heart thing. We'll be thinking about you. I'll pray for you. I don't want to get involved. That's none of my business. Why is it it's not hard at all to get involved in gossip business, but it's near impossible to jump in and help somebody when they need help in sin? To help somebody move toward restoration. To help somebody find peace with another brother or sister.

I'll tell you that I'm thankful. I think the Heinrichs are listening right now. I'm thankful Pastor said something toward the end of one of my messages not long ago where he said it's such a problem that people don't go to their brother or sister for restoration. And that was what I was preaching on. And he said that is such a huge problem that when there's division among two people that they don't go to each other. But you know what they do do, though? They might not go to the person that they're at odds with. They'll go to a third person and get them involved in talking about that person they're at odds with. For sure, that's not hard at all. "I'm really struggling with so-and-so." "Have you talked to so-and-so?" "Uh..." So this is not saying avoid confrontation or getting involved in someone's life. That is not what it's saying. If you have the goal of a peacemaker and you're doing what Paul says and have the hope of endeavoring to promote unity, the spirit of unity, if you're trying to help people restore and come together and you're willing to be a mediator to help people as an advocate, I can read passages to you. Listen to what Paul says in Galatians 6. Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, lest you all be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

I think that the meddling thing, we might think we are bearing somebody else's burdens. But the way you would know that, you can actually know that, and that is if there's peace after it's over between the two parties. You can know if you're doing it right if after you're done being involved in it, everybody has unity and peace together. That's the measuring. It isn't, did one half of the argument agree with you and you agree with them and now they feel like they have an ally in their fight? No. The problems are getting solved biblically. That's how you know if you're doing something biblical. If problems get solved, peace gets made, unity gets strengthened, relationships get restored.

So the first thing this text is not saying is hands off on spiritual things and promoting unity and helping people reconcile. It's not saying that. But it is definitely saying you're not just supposed to join somebody in their fight against somebody else. The second thing is that you could take away from this— so first thing is it's not saying completely disengage, but if you're going to engage, engage with the goal of restoration and help, actual help. Be willing to talk to all parties, not just your half or your friend or the person that you have aligned with. You're willing to help with all parties to mediate. The second thing that it's could be saying is we have to be careful not to enable people in a bad way of thinking. So that if somebody is in a quarrel, in a fight, it might be possible that if we join them in their fight, we're helping them stay in a quarrel. In other words, we're justifying them fighting with someone. We're justifying them thinking they should be at odds with somebody. Like we might help them stay in an immature spot and enabling them instead of pursuing peace on their own. Like if somebody's thinking, "I'm having trouble with that person across the hall at church. Man, I'm really having trouble with them, and I think what I'm supposed to do is go to them." And now you pop in like the dog ear grabber, right? And say, "No, you've been offended. They really hurt you, and maybe you're not supposed to go to them. Maybe they're supposed to come to you." So you enable them and keep them from actually pursuing peace. So that's possible, that you can help somebody stay in a quarrel. Instead of pursuing peace.

Another thing, this one might seem obvious, but it isn't. I don't think it should be, which is you can help spread slander and gossip and tear somebody's character down behind them. And frankly, I don't think people are afraid enough of that. I don't think we're afraid enough of potentially slandering someone. God says he hates that. I don't know if you know, in Proverbs 6, he says he hates things, and one of the things he says is a false witness who speaks lies, and then, and one who sows discord among the brethren. So in other words, let's say there's a fight, and instead of you doing the right way of pursuing peace and bringing unity, you just jump in the fight. You're the guy in the back of the car. You just want to be involved in it, maybe as gossip or slander. And you might not realize that you're helping cause divisions in the church among the brethren. I just, I think we should be worried that if there's ever a potential for us to cause a division, we should at least know God hates division. And he hates us helping division. So the meddler doesn't care if there's unity. The meddler just wants to be involved in meddling. But the peacemaker, the person who's doing it right, the one who's the spiritual brother in Galatians 6, they want restoration. They want to see the relationship made right. They want to see sheep get back with the shepherd and sheep be right with sheep. That's what they want. It's their heart for there to be unity and restoration. They don't want to see people in quarrels and strife.

Another thing this could speak to is that we sometimes think we know the whole story and we don't know the whole story. This might be simply one of the lessons is you don't know the whole thing. So you might be getting in a fight and only hearing one side of the story. By the way, that's always true. It's always true. You only hear the side of the team that you join. You didn't hear both sides. You know what they said to me and they did this to me and they said that to me and this is what they're saying. Part of the reason why I think God put this in his word is because if you don't know the whole story, you can't possibly contribute in a helpful way, assuming you even want to contribute in a helpful way. This text is saying you want to meddle, but let's say you're meddling in the name of helping. Well, you could be taking— getting involved and not knowing the whole story. Proverbs 25:8 says, "Do not go hastily to court, for what will you do in the end when your neighbor has put you to shame?" In other words, you're quick to get involved in the fight, and then you find out you didn't know the whole story. Now you're locked in.

Remember the story of the Gibeonites who lied? They pretended when Joshua was taking over the land, and they went around and they lied and said they were something they weren't. And they came along and said, "Oh, we're not those people you're trying to kill. We're a different people altogether." And they dressed themselves up to look like they had, you know, came from a long distance. "Oh, we're not them. Hey, make a covenant with us, and we'll treat you right and you can treat us right." So those were literally the people in the land that God had said, "Go take the land back." And they tricked Joshua and his people, and they made a covenant with them. Now that's false pretense. They lied. They lied. So is Joshua obligated to keep his covenant with them? Yes. Do you notice that God didn't say, "Well, no, they lied to you, so you don't have to keep your promise to them." No, that's what he's saying here. If you jump into a fight, and you might not know the whole story of the fight, you might find yourself on the hook. You might find yourself having to fight for a side you wouldn't want to fight on because you don't know the whole story. So be careful getting involved in people's business because you might not know the whole story.

This next one is probably the one I care the most about personally, my personal feeling, because as a pastor and as a Christian, I spent a lot of time having to try to make peace between sides. I can tell you frankly, it's just— it wears you out. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with as a pastor when people are fighting and now I have to get involved to help the fight go away and to help restore and to help cause peace. One of the things this passage might be talking to is that when you take sides in a fight, you might be taking sides against God's people. And you said, "But no, I could also be taking sides for God's people." Wait, if those two people are in a fight, It is not okay that they're not in unity. It is not okay in God's economy that believers are fighting with each other. God has put so many things in place in his word so that we wouldn't fight with each other, so that we would get along, so that we would esteem others more highly than ourselves, so that we would think more highly of others than we do ourselves, so that we would put our desires aside for the good of other people, so that we would make others do well even if it hurts us. This is built into God's system that believers are supposed to want the best for other believers. And this verse might be— one of the motives behind the Lord inspiring it might be that when you get involved with a fight between two people, especially if it's two Christians, you might be inadvertently taking sides with one against a Christian. So that now instead of two Christians fighting with each other, there are three Christians fighting with each other. That can't be good. There's lots of passages talking about that.

Paul tells the Corinthians, "Now therefore it is already an utter failure for you to go to law against your brother. Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated?" Paul says, instead of fighting for your rights and then getting somebody to meddle with you to fight for your rights, it is better for you to be wronged, to be hurt, and to gain your brother than it is for you to win a fight and destroy your brother. Paul says that clearly. The idea is, forgive them, they know not what they do. The idea is, I don't need to win, and I don't need allies in my fight against my fellow brother. I need to be finding unity with my brother, not finding allies in a war against my brother. So it's all over. I talk about this all the time. 1 John, we just went through this. My little children, these things I write to you So that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. What does Jesus do for you, a sinner, before God? He defends you. He fights for you. He mediates for you. He died for you. He does that maybe for the other person that you joined in the fight against too. I want you to just think about that. Did Jesus die for this person? So I'm watching, I'm passing by. And I see two Christians, people I know that are believers, they're both Christian and they're fighting against each other. Or they have some sort of quarrel or there's some sort of division. It doesn't have to be a fight, a physical fight, but you know what I mean. There's people that I know, they're struggling. There's strife in that relationship. And I walk by and I think, "You know, I could get involved in that. I might be the answer to that. My two cents might be what they need right now." And I jump in and take sides with one of those people. Am I being an advocate before the Lord or am I being an accuser before the Lord? Am I helping a prosecutor or am I defending like the advocate does, like Jesus does for us?

It's really easy to be an accuser. It's easy to find fault in other people. You don't even have to look very hard. It's hard to see it in ourselves, but it's really easy to see it in others. And listen to what Proverbs 24 says. I'd known this verse, but it hit me really hard in this context. This verse got me pretty good. Do not rejoice when your enemy falls. And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and it displease him, and he turn away from his wrath from him. Don't be happy when someone else hurts. A meddler gets his itch scratched by seeing people fight. Oh yeah, what's going on here? I'll get involved in it. Oh really, they said that to you? Oh really, they did that? Oh really, he did that? That congressman did that? Oh really, the neighbor said this? Don't jump in those other fights because I really think that you might inadvertently or on purpose— is advertently the other side of that? You might on purpose be joining one side against God's people. That should be a scary thought to us. Just like before, sowing discord, I said it, should be a scary thought to us, gossip, slander, discord, causing divisions in the church. It should also scare us and give us pause if we get involved in a fight. With one Christian against another Christian that Jesus died for. Supposed to be pursuing peace.

Sinners love gossip. I don't know why. Honestly, when I asked that earlier, why do we like it? Why are we attracted to it? I'm not sure I have an answer except sin, just that we like chaos. Like, we are that guy that wants to jump in the backseat of the car instead of throwing punches. We just like to see what's going on. It's intriguing to us. When other people are fighting and have division. It's intriguing to us when we know the latest gossip. But listen to the proverb writer when he says, "The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body." The idea is they're attractive to us. They're like candy to us. But they shouldn't be. They shouldn't be. We shouldn't want to gossip. We shouldn't want to meddle. We shouldn't want to be in anybody else's business. Except to help restoration. You might need to come alongside a believer and help them, but please make sure you're helping them and test it. Let's say you get called into a session where somebody needs your help, or they say they need your help, and you're involved now, and you talked and you were in the conversation, and you leave that conversation. The question is, is as you leave that conversation, can you look back and see that because you were there, there is more unity, more restoration, more understanding, more forgiveness, more God-centeredness. I was involved and now they're really thinking about what the Lord wants instead of what they want and their fight and who can win in the fight. If you just walk away and they are the same divided or more divided, you didn't help and you might have grabbed a dog by the ear.

So let's not be dog grabbers, ear grabbers. Let's be actual helpers. Maybe the best thing to do is just keep walking and pray as you keep walking for them. Don't meddle. Don't be a part of the fight. We have a business meeting now. Mr. Collins, I'll pray if you want to—